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Serious Costuming 
28th-May-2012 11:53 pm
banksy
Teaching is over at UWA. We’re currently doing revision classes for exams in a few weeks, and it’s nice to see that my studying efforts are paying off. Concepts which frustrated me weeks before are now starting to make sense, and questions which I once found difficult now unfold nicely in front of me. I’m amazed at how much the unit has shrunk in size since the beginning of semester, but not that surprised as geology was exactly the same last year.

I sit at the front by myself just as I have for the whole semester, except for the odd straggler to class who takes the nearest available seat, which suits me just fine. The rest of the mature age students take up the rows behind me and then everyone else. My lecturer is throwing up example questions for us to figure out as a group. Confused muttering ensues behind me when he prompts us for a solution. I’ve got the answer figured out in front me, and after a few failed attempts by other students I finally speak up:

“It’s zinc positive two.”



“Sorry?”

"It’s zinc. Positive two.”



“What makes you say that?”

“Because an atom with 30 protons will have an atomic number of 30, making it zinc. Twenty eight electrons makes it blah blah blah..”



I’ve mentioned before that I’m an introvert. There’s a perfectly good reason why I am in general a very shy person who doesn’t like to draw attention to himself. It’s not necessarily a bad thing so to speak, but it does prevent me from confidently reinforcing my knowledge in situations like that by proudly proclaiming I’m right. Similarly I think it also holds me back from participating in a lot of activities that I think I would enjoy.

I’ve been toying with the idea of fursuiting lately, chatting with a few folks about it, tossing around a few ideas of what I’d like to do eventually. I particularly like the common aspect I hear about it being a very liberating experience because of the ‘barrier’ that the suit creates between the wearer and the environment around them. Then I came across this post and I figured yeah, this is something I’d like to try!

And then I read the comments.

And I think cripes, this sounds awful!

It seems to pop up every time I start to talk about suiting. A culture of taboos, Do’s and Do Not’s. And what starts out as a fun curiosity all of a sudden becomes terribly intimidating to contemplate trying. Oddly enough the very thing I want to do in order to feel less self conscious about myself, is making me feel more self conscious about myself!

And so hilariously I contemplate just doing it in private. At which I point I file the idea under ‘Maybe not for me.’
Comments 
29th-May-2012 05:46 am (UTC)
Are there any reasons in particular you don't like to draw attention to yourself? Like, is there something about yourself you're not confident about, or you're worried of other peoples perceptions of you etc.
I've seen some people get in suit and continue to act the exact same way they do beforehand, so it's not always a guaranteed way to free yourself. It all depends on the person I guess.
29th-May-2012 08:18 am (UTC)
The culture of my upbringing is such that do make yourself noticed or achieve anything results in being hit/threatened/berated, so it's kind of a developed survival instinct! Fly beneath the radar and be safe, so to speak.

You bring up a pretty good point actually, and helped me articulate something I've been trying to grasp from my thoughts since responding to morning_dragon. I think I'm just desperately trying to form some kind of common ground that I can use to bond with furries and try to get them to give a shit about stuff that I'm passionate about (geology, earth science) by vicariously getting them involved in it through suiting, as I explained to Wof above. And I think that'll just exasperate the overall problem that I'm currently facing, which is that I'm not engaging people naturally unless I'm indulging them.

So yeah, thanks for the trigger. :)
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